There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
