it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
