it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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