how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
