I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
