Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
