Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
