There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
