you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
