they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
