so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
