normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
