oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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