The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
