Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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