ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
