I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
