I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
