Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
