oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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