i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
