omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
