so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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