so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He passed out mid-signature
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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