benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
