come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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