You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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