So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
