Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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