Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
