i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
