She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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