Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sext me about skeletons
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
