i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
