there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
