nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hippo gnu deer
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
