The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
