I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
