She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize