i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
