Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
