Im at strip club and am horny
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
