brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
