Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
