my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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