I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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