so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
