marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
