D3 body, D1 cock
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I looked at my own cervix.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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