it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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