I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize