Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
