That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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