Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
