I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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