my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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