thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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