Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
