hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
