I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize