I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
