I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
