No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
