you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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