How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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