im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
