Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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