uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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