Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
