So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
