I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
